Introduction to Holiday Stress Management

I want to share some ideas and strategies for Holiday Stress Management in this blog.

Over the past (almost!) 68 years, I’ve experienced a fair amount of holiday-related stress, overwhelm, and personal meltdowns (to which Mr. G.Q. can attest). After reflection, I have realized that much of the stress and negative aspects of the holidays have been self-induced. As a woman who enjoys holiday decorating, shopping for unique gifts, wrapping presents, preparing delicious meals, and baking cookies, I have DEFINITELY felt overwhelmed by the sheer bulk of activities. I love to do it all for my family and friends who know me! I think it’s okay to do all these things, but my new overarching strategy is to do whatever makes me happy (at the time, on that day) and then do whatever else I have time for.

My significant others will be shocked to hear this! But as I said above, much of the stress I have experienced in holidays past has been due to my attitude that I’ve always managed to pull it all off, so why change that? Well, because at the end of the day, I want to focus on the fun along the way. I don’t want to miss a second of that! Sometimes, “doing it all” is just too much!

Does that mean I will give up my pretty tables, delicious food, and pretty packages? Maybe. As you probably know, I am a serious planner and list maker. Will I stop that? Nope. The lists calm me down. But my attitude is changing…

How Do I Overcome Holiday Stress?

I think the best way to overcome holiday stress is by taking the time early in the season to decide what YOU want to feel and experience during the holidays. So often, we, as mothers, wives, grandmothers, and friends, try and do so much on behalf of others that we run out of energy and have none left to take care of ourselves. We get stressed because we’re tired. We overeat because it’s hard to make time for meal planning due to all of the events. We don’t exercise or meditate during the holidays because we don’t have time.

But to have the best holidays, we need to prioritize our well-being. (See below!). This is the real key to holiday stress management.

Which brings me to my list of strategies for holiday stress management:

My Tips for Holiday Stress Management

1. Start unwinding from the day by 7:00 PM. That means no emails after seven and no phone peeking after 9:00 PM. Keep your phone in a charger outside of the bedroom! It’s very stimulating! I keep mine on my bathroom vanity with the ringer turned off so I can still use it as an alarm.
2. Write tomorrow’s to-do list. Don’t worry if you forget something. Just check your calendars and list items you need to do. Don’t worry about how much is on the list. See Point 12 below.
3. Put the list on your bedside table. Then, if you awaken with another thing to do, you can jot it down and return to sleep.
4. Establish a nighttime ritual. This involves a hot bath, lots of lotion afterward, soft jammies, and comfy sheets. I can’t tolerate fragrances, so I light unscented votive candles along my bathtub ledge. (Steps 1-4 are all part of tips for self-care to reduce stress all year round.)
5. I will turn the heat to 70 degrees until I awaken the next day. Cooler temperatures promote deeper sleep.
6. Get more sleep. From now on (December 8)), I plan to get into bed by 10:00 PM. Then, I will read until 11:00 PM. Reading to reduce stress is very relaxing. And then, lights out!
7. If I can’t fall asleep or awaken in the night and fall back asleep within 20 minutes, I’ll get up, drink water, and watch a low-key Hallmark movie. I will watch this in the great room (not the bedroom) until I get sleepy enough to fall back asleep. Or I’ll watch a funny movie to show myself how laughter reduces stress and facilitates better sleep. If all this fails, I might try a few relaxing yoga poses like Child’s pose. Yoga to relieve stress can be very therapeutic during the holidays.
8. For meditation, I use Insight Timer, an app that offers free and paid meditations. The free meditation I successfully use is Michael Macintosh’s “Deep Sleep in Meditation.” It’s 25 minutes long, and I rarely hear the ending as I am usually back asleep.
9. Sleep until at least 7:00 AM. Sleep is such a pillar of holiday stress management.
10. When I awaken, I don’t look at my phone until I meditate for 15 minutes or make a list (on paper) of the positive things in my life for 5 minutes. I know you think this chick’s “nuts” with this idea. But by training yourself to meditate first or make a “list of positive aspects” (on paper), you’re setting the tone for a successful, happy day. You might think this is just too “woo woo” for you and that you would rather hit the snooze button than get up to “meditate.” However, I am learning that this step is critical to my goal of having as much fun as possible. As well as not missing out because I’m “too busy” with holiday preparations.
11. Meet a friend for a walk and a cup of coffee to feel happier and maybe hear their holiday stress management strategies. I often call a friend while going for a walk (even if they’re in a different time zone) so we can both walk and talk. The walk goes by so quickly, and I feel connected to my friend! I get in more than 10,000 steps on most friend phone calls! Win-win!
12. Now, go back over last night’s “to-do” list. Circle the absolute “must do’s”. These are the things that MUST BE DONE TODAY! But, do your best to be realistic (think, “do less…”) about what needs to be done today. And then delegate! Ask your spouse if they can pick up the dry cleaning or dinner. Tell your teenager you need them to walk the dog after school, set the table, and take out the trash before dinner. Why? Because you cannot and should not do it all!!! Holiday stress management is a learned set of ideas.
13. Now reread the list and see which other things resonate with you (today). By accomplishing those things, you will feel relieved and possibly happier. Do your best to do those things OR find a “workaround” to achieve that. For example, if the task was to create a Christmas menu, consider picking two or three things you plan to make (maybe with help from your family members), and then figure out where you can order the rest. We, mothers/women/caregivers, try to do TOO MUCH! But we may be overlooking resources “hiding in plain sight.” During a calm moment, ask your family what things are important to them for the upcoming event. Then, ask them what they are lukewarm on. Cross off the lukewarm stuff and ask for their help on the rest. Ask if they want to prepare an item and/or pick it up from a local merchant. You might be surprised at their ideas and input.
14. You might enjoy two lovely books: Calm Christmas by Beth Kempton and Have Yourself a Minimalist Christmas: Slow down, Save Money, and Enjoy a More Intentional Holiday by Meg Nordmann and Denaye Barahona, Ph.D.
15. Enjoy this day as much as possible. It truly is the only day that matters. Yesterday is already gone, and tomorrow never really comes.

Conclusion to Holiday Stress Management

I hope this holiday stress management post has been helpful or at least thought-provoking. Please let me know your thoughts and suggestions for holiday stress management in the comments below. I would LOVE more ideas! You can also email me at jmarshallmd@ameritech.net.

Happy Holidays Lovely Readers!!!

XO,

Dr. Julie

PS Here are a few more posts for you to enjoy:

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• Easiest Appetizer Ever
• How to Plan for Thanksgiving (Part One) – Dr. Julie’s Fun Life
• How to Plan for Thanksgiving (Part Two) – Dr. Julie’s Fun Life
• How to Create an Elegant Fall/Thanksgiving Tablescape – Dr. Julie’s Fun Life

• Best Gifts for Champagne Lovers

• Great Gifts for Dog Lovers
• Homey Christmas Decorations in My California Home
• How to Decorate a Christmas Tree – Very Sparkly!